Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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