if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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