i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
