WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
