He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
