scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
