I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize