Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
