You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
