hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
