I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
