I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
