Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
