i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
