Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
