He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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