i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
