I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
