Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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