We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
