I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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