How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
