Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
