I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
