You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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