Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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