got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
