My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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