ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Congratulations! We have a period
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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