It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I intend to get homeless drunk
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
