i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
