Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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