you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
