Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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(219): View more from Indiana

She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.

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(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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(214): View more from Texas

i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

(679): View more from Michigan

I wanted to be a dolphin.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.

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(806): View more from Texas

You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on

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(316): View more from Kansas

DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????

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