Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We are all done wearing pants today
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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