Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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