I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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