actually, I'm a sock model
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
