Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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