we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize