pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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