It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
