Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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