I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
