oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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