Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
