The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
