I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
