at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
