I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
